Skip to main content

A Few Too Many Things

The hardest thing about posting intermittently, compared to when I was doing it every day, is that there are so many things I want to talk about, but jumbling them all together feels like a mashup that has no real point.

The things that are on my mind at the moment include:

  • The road trip to the Canadian Rockies that we did, which is more of a picture album kind of thing, where I get to talk a bit about the rewards of each day.
  • Our in-between time for the two houses, and the unexpected gifts that have come with that time.
  • My summer with Jet before he goes off to college, which might fit a little with the first point.
  • Various culinary adventures we've had in Karen's kitchen, which can also be a pictures and linear telling kind of thing.
  • The odd revelation that if I take Christian Teachings from the angle of it being about community, NOT about individual behavior (under the creepy stalker eye of a god that immediately punishes or rewards said behavior) all kinds of things can open up to a good way of understanding. It's NOT all about you.
  • Realizing how badly I was damaged by the writing breakup and figuring out if or where I want to go with writing.
  • And with both the upper two points are mixing various bits of the theology of Sean Stewart, Lois McMaster Bujold, Max Gladstone (in particular because I've been rereading some of his stuff with Jet), and especially T. Kingfisher's universe's theology and how they play in very well with mine. Diane Duane has a thing up on her Tumblr that tells one of the real stories about how I think this works. Lots of thoughts about working theology... but maybe they're better put into a book.
  • What it's like to be good friends with a lot of ladies who are decades ahead of me on the aging scale and what they mean to me as they lose capabilities but are still bravely themselves while they age and I age. I'm learning a lot about being the oldest I've ever been and how to march forward with that and what the real rewards are for loving too well and being part of a community that's more than work or school. Plus how that's really fed me in surprising ways.
  • How much it maddens me when people mistake opinion, individual experience, and conviction for having the same authority as scientific proof. They are two different things people, each valuable in their own time and context, but terribly and utterly inapplicable for the other application. Bashing either also maddens me.
They are not all related, but they are all intertwined.

I'll probably do the trip as it's so straightforward, and a few picture never hurt anyone.  The time in-between is another priority and our relationship with Karen really has grown.  The aging problem is one that's constantly with me these days and the loss of capabilities is very real and probably affects more people than let anyone else know and it's something that becomes easier the more I understand how common it really is. And getting to know those things seems to be a facet of belonging to a real community, the member of whom get to know each other well enough to share things that they can't and really don't want to show at work or in public.

But the book and the theology are just going to haunt me. *laughs*  That's as it should be, I think.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Everything Is A Lot

My mother took my hand, as we were going to leave tonight, and she very deliberately, gently, and slowly pressed a kiss on the back of my hand. And at the look on her face, I clasped her hand back just as gently, but firmly, and I kissed her on her forehead. She smiled and let me go.  Words are failing her. I find it ironic that the only way that I can process her now word-muddled existence is through my long practice with words.  On November 13th, my sister and father did a video doctor's check with my mother. Their GP was so alarmed at her inability to truly respond to their questions made their primary doctor tell them that they had to go to the ER. That there was something seriously wrong with her and they had to get her looked at as quickly as possible. The three of them spend two horrific days in the over crowded ER at UCSD, in order to get the CAT scans and MRI that showed a very large shadow in her brain.  This was while John and I were in Kauai. We heard the begi...

Hard Things

I'm getting asked a lot these days about how my mother is doing. It's never easy to answer, because she's dying. She's pretty comfortable for all that, all of her needs are being taken care of. She has hospice checking on her every time she needs anything. She's being made as comfortable as possible with modern medicine and care.  Most people end up saying, "That's so hard."  And the only thing I can really do is nod. There's something in my head that always says, "It's not hard the way you think it's hard." It doesn't detract from the fact that everything is pretty difficult right now. I've always hated my emotions. They're always pretty difficult for me to access, except when I have the opportunity to process them with someone else, extroverted emotional expression seems to be one of the few ways I can deal with them. Grief always eats all my energy.  When I first came home from San Diego after the Thanksgiving perio...

Thankful

Tuesday was absolutely insane. We had two appointments for the radiation oncologist and then the lung cancer specialist.  And while we were talking with the lung cancer specialist, he heard that John and I were here from Colorado and were going to fly back, again, for the brain cancer specialist next week. He said, "I think I can find an opening for you with him. Let me go talk to him."  He talked with the brain cancer specialist, and lo and behold, we got the 1pm appointment we couldn't get through the regular channels, and while we decided to have lunch in the cafe in the cancer center, Kathy and John got texts about the new appointment.  This whole trip has been blessed with so many bits of luck. John and I got two of the last four seats on the non-stop that was most convenient for our flight in. This Friday's flight was half the price of all the other flights around this crazy travel holiday. Our room at our hotel was the very last room left at this Homewood Suite...